My fellow English teacher and table-mate periodically leaves me articles, stories, and comic strips she uses in her conversational English classes. Today I found this gem by Ann Landers on the topic of marriage. I figured her advice is worth sharing again. This one goes out to the many couples I know who live these words. Enjoy.
The more you have in common with the one you choose, the better your chances for a successful marriage. This means religious training, cultural, social and financial background. The old saying "opposites attract" may be true in the field of electromagnetics, but it seldom works out in choosing a lifetime partner.
Don't marry on the spur of the moment. If love is real, it will last. The tired line "marry in haste, repent in leisure" may be a cliche, but it still makes good sense.
Don't marry a person whose chief attraction is sexual. A marriage based on sex will fall apart when the passions cool, and they'll cool a whole lot faster than you thought.
Don't marry with the intention of changing your beloved to meet your specifications. It won't work. If during courtship a person is unfaithful, a heavy drinker, a gambler or abusive, marriage will not provide the magic cure. In fact, he'll undoubtedly get worse as time goes on.
Choose someone who wants the same things from life that you want. Discuss in detail your aims, goals and objectives. Marriage should mean companionship and building a life together.
Approach marriage as a permanent relationship and not as an experiment which can be tossed aside if it doesn't work. Remember, a good marriage is not a gift -- it's an achievement. It takes working at. You must repeatedly compromise. Forgive and forget. And then be smart enough to forget what you forgave. Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one is leaving four or five things a day -- unsaid.
Til' Death Do Us Part,
Tim
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